Sunday, August 19, 2007

Chasing Things

I was just sitting here at the computer playing an online game (Chainz 2) after seeing the movie, Premonition, with my dh. I started to wonder about why I feel the need to chase something. Is it in our nature to do so? I am normally not reflective (which makes me really bad at doing Soul Collage stuff), but my mind was just wandering. I have chased something all my life. When I was a child, I chased the perfect thrill and read book after book looking for the perfect story. Do you know how most people can tell you what their favorite book is? I can't tell you that I have a favorite book. I normally don't go back and read books over and over again. I don't have a book that just sticks in my mind. When I was high school, I chased "As" to get into a good college. After college, I chased the money. In my 30's, it was a husband and a family (2nd husband, that is). Now, I am always looking for new techniques, new things in art to try, and for fame and recognition in our art world.

Is it the chase for me? Once I get it, the thrill is gone and I am on to the next thing. I am that way with techniques. Try it, it's over, and on to something else. Do people chase something their entire lives but just don't realize? Is it possible for me to just settle and to exist happily without chasing something? I don't think so. Why am I so driven?

Now, I am going to ponder my fascination with fire.


Jan Scholl said...

I find myself retreating from things-abd secluding myself because of it. Maybe I am divesting and making my life simpler. I once wanted to always be going and doing stuff-but now I get to the door and retreat. Because I can live without doing it or going to it. But I am not unhappy because of it-just my life is less complicated I guess.

Laura said...

If you can balance your life with the way you live what does it matter how you do it and what joy you receive by making goals and echeiving them.
I've found that when life is going go and you have worked hard and made great steps for yourself there will be people that feel your moving to fast and getting to big for your pants.
And what it is,
is the others are jealous of your good fortunes and they don't want you to get any bigger.
When instead they should be happy that there are people out there that seek to be creative and not destructive of others lives by sensely drama and gossip.

Julia Cameron says" Keep the Drama on the Page" and I say Canvas, paper, box, book or a good pot of soup.

Keep doing what you love to do and shake off like the dogs in the rain with the comments you receive that only add tonic-ness to your life.


Sandy said...

Maybe your problem is semantics. Rather than thinking you are always chasing something, wondering if it's a problem, what if you thought, "I like the thrill of discovery and the adventure found in experimenting with different techniques." Sounds a little more positive and not like a problem in life. I think all the self-analysis stuff can lead us to depression if you let it. Life is for enjoying. Enjoy what you can!